Learn how working with your intuition and energy can help you gain control over your life, your relationships and your career. A life coach can help. Find one in your area, or one that can work online. https://healingwaze.com/practitioners/healingmethod/life-coaching/
Attend to your thoughts for they create everything you do.
Not being able to make decisions is one of the more common reasons people seek coaching. Being unable to make decisions leaves people feeling misunderstood, unfulfilled, and sooner or later (usually sooner) they feel resentful.
Let me start with good news first; You are not alone! You are not nuts! You can do this! Emotional abuse can be hard to see and hard to talk about. Emotional abuse does not leave bruises on your face, but it is damaging to your self.